Swinger Podcast

9 Practical Tips for Attending Large Swinger Events

Swinger Podcast | Hotwife Podcast - A fun and flirty Swinger Podcast about the Swinging Lifestyle

9 Practical Tips for Attending Large Swinger Events

Are you looking for Swingers Event Tips with some practical tips for attending a Swingers Club or Swingers Hotel Takeover? Read on lovers

Pre-Event Preparation

Aside from the obvious purchase of event tickets, hotel room confirmation, budget, airfares etc etc etc.. there’s other things you’ll need to consider when prepping for an event. However, speaking of flights we do recommend thinking about your arrival and departure times, if you’re going to be partying until 2am and get on a plane at 6am you might be regretting that decision later. (unless you’ve upgraded with miles and then party like it’s Ibiza baby!) Do your research; How long is the event, how many people are expected, what are the theme nights (if any) and is there a chat room for the event attendee’s or a forum page to connect beforehand? 

Hot Tip: Post your travel and connect! Desire Resorts has a forum page where you can post your travel most lifestyle dating websites have travel pages too so others can see you’re going. Check out the FAQ’s on the event planner website and check if there is an existing chat group, if not, you can always create one yourself on Kik or MeWe, don’t be afraid to jump in and start getting those swinger connections happening.  

We’re generally planning our trips at least 12 months in advance, this gives us time to consider some personal goals like a fitness check in, body hair removal (laser bzzzzummmm) and start saving / paying off the hotels, transit etc. Most places will allow you to book with a down payment so this means you can book early and then save before the event. Follow up on this blog and listen to the partner podcast where we run through these helpful hints for attending swingers events.



We like to make some connections prior to attending an event, it’s a great way to start building up the sexual tension and excitement of attending a trip. Personally we love talking about what events we’re attending, what theme nights we’re excited about, what we’re wearing, sharing the sexy countdown app on our phone! All these fun things are just part of the event journey for us, some might not like to get this involved and that’s cool too but if you’re like us and you want to get amongst it, here’s what we suggest.

Are there existing chat groups or forums? Some events (Like Naughty in Nawlins for example) will already have a forum/membership as part of the ticket price. That’s an excellent way to get involved, some people like to break off into little sub groups and set up a kik group in their local area and plan meetups.

If there isn’t a group already there’s no reason you couldn’t start one, post on your dating site (SDC, Kasidie etc) a travel notice and that you’re going, advise people that ‘We’re going this this party!” and see if people reply. Then moderate your group, who do you want to join and how, is it a private group or a free for all.

Hot Tip: A kik group can only have a maximum of 50 people in a group before it reaches capacity and the chat room is one giant board. Considering instead using a new social media platform called MeWe, you can have unlimited people, set security and invite protocol and split the posts and chat function so you can post board announcements and picture boards etc (Hump Day anyone?!).


To Pre-Date or Not to Pre-Date

This is a doozy! Some people like to set up dates before the event (if people live close) or even set up dates for evenings during the event. You need to figure out what works best for you before you set up too many dates and overbook your dance card.

If you prefer to meet people on the fly and just let the days and nights go with the flow, then we suggest don’t set up dates for the entire week. Maybe there’s an especially interesting couple or single you like and you could set up 1-night date but don’t overload yourself. Allow yourself the opportunity to meet new people, you never know what kind of spark might occur during that late night booty run up the hotel hallway.

There are some pitfalls of communication and pre-game matching for example, you could arrive at the event realize that you’re not keen on the couple at all. However, now you’ve overpromised and need to sit through a boring date having vanilla conversation when you could have been out there grinding on the dance floor or playing in the foam pit.

So, whatever you decide we highly recommend making it a balanced approach, if it’s a week-long event maybe you might want to set up a breakfast or lunch date, keep your evenings free. Don’t forget to play early and dance later!

Stay or Stray from the Course

Another big decision is what you hope to achieve out of your time at the event, lots of people go seriously over the top when it comes to holidays. They want to go away for a week long convention or to a resort and while there they want to go scuba diving, try local cuisine, go on a run, check out the nature walk, fuck a bunch of people… it’s too much!

We don’t recommend to jam pack too much into your schedule, if you’re going away on a Lifestyle vacation then let it be about that, take in the atmosphere and encourage yourself to be in the moment. Rookie error is booking an 8 course degustation dinner and then worrying all day if you’re getting too drunk at the day parties so you don’t let lose.

Hot Tip: Head to the location a day early or stay a day late and check out the local sights. (Special props for getting some family excuse photos and something to share on google drive, extra points for a mid-day wardrobe change so it looks legit!)


Pack your main luggage and your swinger bag with pride

There’s a ton of articles on what to pack in your swinger bag for swinger success however there’s also a bunch of stuff you’re going to want to take with you in your main luggage. Things that will make your trip a little more comfortable (and no I’m not talking about those weird people that take their own pillows on vacations…if this is you please just stop)

Hot Tip: Here’s some of the things we bring with us and how we pack our bag. If there are two of you, devote 1 luggage bag to just LS stuff with costumes, toys etc and the other is our everyday bag. This way if TSA wanna get all up in your business they only have one bag to go through and it makes it easier to unpack and get your shit in order when you arrive.  

Don’t forget to re-use some items across the theme nights if there are a few that you’re going to. Ladies, I’m going to call you out, you DO NOT NEED a different pair of shoes for each theme night, take some that can work across many. Also consider what items you can leave behind or donate, do you really need to take that swashbuckler hat back home?

  • Theme night Costumes; pack these in zip lock bags to keep them all contained. Write on the front in marker pen what the theme is.
  • Condoms; enough for you and everyone else, hell we buy them by the 100’s
  • Lube; grab a few different kinds depending on what the application is
  • Toys; take a few, male and female. You never know when you could end up having a show and tell in your hotel room.
  • ED Pills; for those guests with some performance issues.
  • Flat Shoes; great for long day events and partying all day/night in heels! Say it with me, roll-up flat shoes!
  • Cleaning products; wipes, mouthwash, toothpaste, etc
  • Towel; we like to have a little handy towel that rolls up, you never know when you’re going to need it. (special points for any Douglas Adams fans)
  • Contact Cards; how are people going to contact you to set up that next date? Get yourself some $20 printed contact cards from Vistaprint online, they arrive in a few days and your all set. Put your dating profile and kik details as a minimum, or leave a space for your room number.

Swinger Goals; to Have or Not to Have…

Have you ever walked away from an event just thinking, damn it! I wish I was more outgoing or asked that couple back to my room or put myself out there more?

Perhaps some goals can help you, personally we like to have a few things that we hope to achieve during an event. These can be personal, couple or swinger related, a few things to consider for your goal list.

  • Are you practicing your flirt game? Do your best to flirt and if you’re off track get your partner to nudge you or say the secret word to keep you on track.
  • Can you be more outgoing? Talk more to strangers, try to spark up a conversation. Don’t wait for people to join your end of the pool or couch, get out there and strut your stuff.
  • Do you want to ask out the most attractive person in the room?
  • Do body shots at the busiest bar?!
  • Win the Miss no swimsuit competition?! Whatever your goal, it’s fun to arrange a buddy system, get your own cheerleader in your corner helping you be the best version of yourself!


Setting Up Your Room

We all talk about setting up your room for success, let’s just get right down to the balls of the matter, you may be bringing people back, you might not. Either way you’re going to want to have an area where you can relax, get funky or just dance and drink the night away.

Hot Tip: Do this the moment you check in, you might be tempted to go and check out what’s going on (FOMO again) but you’ll be super appreciative later when you end up having a random meet in your room or need to come back, shower and throw on your next outfit. It’s also fun to put on some music, grab a drink and dance your way around the room set up, make it fun, time yourself, get naked…. Whatever makes it work for you.

  • Water; you can never have enough bottled water in your room for you and your guests. Trust me when I say that bottled water mid-way through a hangover night is a god send.
  • Cups; keep it classy and grab some plastic wine or champagne flutes while you’re at it, stadium cups are great for vodka and stuff but if your guests prefer wine you’re going to look the part if you have the right (ahem) utensils.
  • Alcohol; an assortment, enough said.
  • Portable Speaker the champion of the room party, they are cheap, portable, Bluetooth operated (you can ask your guests what music they like for extra tips) and can run from batteries or into the wall socket so you can move them anywhere around the room or balcony. We never take our expensive speakers on vacation as we always leave stuff behind, we grab a cheap one like the TriBit on Amazon for less than $30 and then we aren’t fussed if a drink spill occurs or it is smashed on the floor in a passion frenzy.
  • Camera; if you want to get some photos or video (consent before people!)
  • Nibbles; You wouldn’t go on a marathon without a power snack. Grab a few bags of chips and nuts when you’re picking up your alcohol, chocolate in the fridge is also a nice treat. If you’re getting fancy you can do some veggie sticks but really… who has time for that? Let’s party!
  • Phone Charger; we always like to have a 4-6 outlet phone charger block and a few phone cables for our guests. We grab a few types of cables in case they’re Android and we’re Apple… but hey, we’re still compatible.
  • Lights: I know we all like to talk about red lights (why?! they make your skin look flawless for one, they also provide a softer light for photos and play) however a big shout out to the original Red Light Night friends (That Couple Next Door Podcast), there’s a ton of podcasters that talk about red lights but they’ll forever be the first! Extra props for having a Portable Disco Light in your room, a cheap remote control one is easy to carry and you don’t mind leaving it behind if it gets broken or you buy too many souvenirs.  


Protect yourself

Going to a hotel takeover or a lifestyle convention can be a daunting task. There’s only so many hours in a day and all the while there’s something going on and FOMO is real my friends. With events happening all through the day and into the evening (not to mention play time) you might find yourself a bit worse for wear on day 2-3.

Since we’re already in the alternative lifestyle, let’s not get stuck in the normal date routine. Why not get funky during the day and date at night?! D and I like to set up day sex or early afternoon sex, then go out and have some night fun. You’ll be all amped up for the evening, having a great time into the early hours of the morning and could even go for round 2 or 3.

Take breaks and naps during the day or have a night that you party less hard. Pick days by the itinerary where you can have less crazy fun mixed in with days and nights that you know you’re going to love. (Like my obsession getting crazy wild in foam parties!)

Hot Tip; Stay Hydrated; while my lovely friends in the US (Thanks Average Swingers and Our Naughty Escapades) like to say “Pedialyte fixes everything” – honestly it’s like the magic cure for hangovers and dehydration. Take it before bed, drink it during the hot day parties in between your cocktails.


Have fun and make connections

Remember, this is just a party. At the end of the day don’t get too caught up into being stressed about theme nights, what to wear, transport to the venue… it’s all in good fun.

Hot Tip; met someone awesome at the event? Don’t forget to get their details, maybe give them your contact card (if you don’t have some you need to jump online to Vistaprint and buy yourself some swing cards for $20). Connect on a dating site and send a follow up message a few days after the event.

Have fun, don’t take yourself too serious, enjoy your partner, your new friends and be in the moment!




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Extra points and last minute golden pieces of information:

We never drink enough water and we always forget our people’s names… here’s a way to beat that problem. Buy a personalized tumbler online, you’ll be able to walk around with a water (hahah I actually fill it with alcohol) and if you point it outwards people will know who you are and can make a connection, or at a minimum strike up a conversation with you over your amazing tumbler.

For $32.95 it pays for itself with all the Swinger conversation you’ll be having!

This one is for the ladies, remember those nights when you’re all danced out and heading home from the club, hotel or walking your way up Bourbon street (eeek barefoot…. no just me?!). You can grab flat roll up shoes online they’re so handy for making your way back (comfortably) to your room, they compact and cheap so I’m not fussed about throwing them in the bin!




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