First Time at a Swingers Club
Curious what it’s like to visit a Swingers Club for the first time? Our Swinging Lifestyle Blog covers your first visit to a Swingers Club
Kev and Jaye attend their first club….
We’d like to thank Kev and Jaye for sharing their story with us, we reached out to them after they mentioned their first ever club visit was a success and we wanted to share this with our listeners and readers!
Thank you for taking the time to write down your journey!
A bit about Kev and Jaye
So, let’s call him Kev (27, bi-comfortable) and her Jaye (26, bi-comfortable). We’ve been together for almost five years, engaged for almost two years and we’re getting married later this year. We met online and for Kev, it was love-at-first sight…it took Jaye a little longer, but not by much! Things happened fast; when you know, you know! Both of us never imagined that the person we were meant to be with would be born halfway around the world; Jaye was born in the UK and Kev in Canada.
As for being in the LS, at this point it’s only been two weeks or so (when we say “newbie”, we MEAN it!) but we’ve probably been talking about it seriously for around 3 months.
What about Clubs?
So far, we’ve attended one club event at a club in our city, and we’ve hosted a party for three at home, but let’s back up a bit…how did we get into the LS? Jaye has a friend…let’s call her Ella. Ella and Jaye are extremely close, and Ella went to a hotel takeover on NYE 2019 after her marriage ended. Ella proceeded to tell Jaye ALL about it and she had just had the BEST time.
More recently, Ella has met someone new through the LS who is gradually becoming very important to her…we’ll call him Ben. Ella was so excited to introduce Jaye to Ben and when she did, Jaye was SUPER happy for her; he’s hot, down-to-earth, laid-back and cares about her friend very much. As any best friend can attest, when a girl meets her bestie’s new partner, it’s important that they get the seal of approval…and Ben checked all the right boxes.
As Jaye and Ella carried on their merry way, Jaye told her friend that she was very happy for her…I think the exact words I used were: “Please marry him.” That was when Ella invited Jaye and Kev to the club night that she and Ben were going to… Fast-forward one day. We have decided we’ll go to the club.
We’re LITERALLY sick with nerves. At this point, we’re deciding on safe-words and writing out rules for an experience that we’ve never encountered before but are incredibly grateful for Ella’s guidance. The entire time, Ella has been so open and honest, no question has been a stupid question and she’s been so great at walking us through every step, connecting us with the right people, the right sites…you name it, she’s been there.
Here we go
We’re about to visit a Swingers Club for the first time
So, we head to the club. We pick up Ella and Ben on our way and all get there together. We sign in, then Ella and the two of us are given a first-timers tour and overview of the club rules. At this point, still seconds from throwing up, shaking, and feeling very shy, we’re walking up to the playroom…and out of nowhere the song “Wagon Wheel” comes on.
This song holds amazing significance to us and as soon as we heard it, we took it as a sign that it would all be just fine. Ben poured us all glasses of wine to ease the nerves, and we hit the dance floor…and NEVER LOOKED BACK. This cool and crazy place, full of sexy and fun people just living their truth and being their authentic selves were so accepting and welcoming of us and we couldn’t have felt more normal and safer than we did in that moment.
Concerns…?
The biggest concern for Jaye has always been her body image and for Kev it was probably the unknown. However, at no point were either of us left out on a limb or made to feel like we didn’t belong…in fact quite the opposite! The guides kept checking in on us and making sure we were okay.
We didn’t hit the playroom that night; the club was packed, and we weren’t sure that’s how we wanted to experience our first swap. A happy side-effect of all of this has been how INCREDIBLE our sex life has been since…I mean…we’ve always had great sex…but the LS has amped it up by MILES. There’s something about seeing your soulmate experience ultimate bliss that you can’t help but be totally turned on by…we spend every day desperate to get back to each other, whether it’s work or extra-curricular-activities or something else keeping us apart, we just can’t wait to jump each other’s bones ASAP.
Was it what we were expecting? Absolutely not…did we have any idea what to expect? Absolutely not…HAHAHA!
So far, everything has been so positive. To the point where we’re not even sure there are any negatives in our experience. The event was awesome. The people were amazing. The sex since has been mind-blowing and we’re closer than ever as a couple.
What’s next?
We have plans already to attend our next event with Epic for Halloween…just before we get married!!! What better way to spend our last few nights as fiancé and fiancée?!
The most important thing is to not have strong expectations. We went with an open mind, but also just to be social. The mindset was to go, have a drink, have a dance and if anything, else happens organically, awesome, if not, awesome. You must approach club nights/events/meet ups that way or risk disappointment.
Some Advice
The best advice we could give would be to go and experience it without expectation. Nobody at the club/event will have an expectation of you and just let your time progress naturally.
Make sure you have rules written out before you go and communicate EVERYTHING to each other. Talk about what you are and aren’t comfortable with, the best example for us is that we are a “same room” couple who have no desire to play separately; it’s important to us that we’re in this together, for the betterment of our relationship and we both share that as a core value. Nobody will question you; your rules are your rules for your reasons and one thing about this community is how truly respectful everyone is. The most important thing is that this must be a mutually agreeable situation, in a relationship which is founded on trust, respect, communication and honesty.
We’re proud to say we honestly check all those boxes. We cannot stress enough how vital that is; the LS is not a “last resort” to save a relationship. It is an enhancement to what you already have. If you have a miserable relationship and enter the LS, you will have nothing but more misery. It will not make things right. If you’re truly happy and committed (and a little bit kinky) you stand to have the time of your lives in this amazing community.
Play safe. Have fun. Communicate. Be respectful.
