Where should we host our Swingers Play Session?
We recently had a question from a new couple in the swinging lifestyle about to embark on their first threesome Male, Female, Male (MFM) experience. They asked us “Ours, His or Hotel?” They wanted to know where they should host their swingers play session
Whilst this question might be simple for long standing swinging lifestyle couples or singles, we were reminded of those first steps into the lifestyle and how some of the logistical arrangements made us ponder.
It is not a simple question is it really? It is not just about safety, it’s not just about distance, it’s not just about who has fanciest house (unless there are hot tubs involved…) there are many facets and reasons to select the ‘where’ as part of the lifestyle sexy fun.
We often play at our house, it’s been something that we’ve always just kind of done, perhaps unintentionally. It was either the house or the club when we were in better glorious swinger days in Sydney and we had a fantastic club at our disposal (shout out to Our Secret Spot)
However lately, if you’ve been listening to our podcast you may have heard me mention that I just want a hotel! It’s easier, I don’t have to clean up anything, I can create a sensual atmosphere and (thanks COVID) it’s outside of the walls of my house.
Here are a few things to consider when asking the question “who is hosting?!” (assuming that you’re ready to play).
At the Club
A great place to meet and potentially play, it is an amped up sexual environment, there are beds, you don’t have to clean anything AND you have the option to walk away or call it a night without any awkwardness of kicking someone out of your home. Not a bad option if you have a club in a reasonably close proximity to your house.
Swingers Help agreed with us on this point, they distinguished between first time play sessions and repeat customers (sorry, couldn’t help it) ?
We also completely forgot about Airbnb being a thing, not a bad option for a swingers catch up as well and you may even find one with a hot tub or pool table room etc which could be helpful for those transitions from vanilla to sexy.
The cons for an Airbnb is that you might have noisy neighbours and it can feel just like another home and not the sexy environment you’re going for.
If you’re looking to avoid expectations of play, especially for a first time catch up then a club is also a big positive, just like our friends Jane and Jay over at Swingfessions Comic mentioned on our twitter thread.
At your place / their place
Whilst this is often the easiest of locations to host, it is not without its cons.
We personally do not mind hosting at our house because we have a dedicated separate room, our toys are here, it is cheaper & we can still create that sensual environment. However, we do not have children, we live in a central location and have some extra fun bedroom toys that would be tough to transit to a hotel.
If you have children, if you live in a rural area, if you don’t have a spare room to play in or don’t want to spend all day cleaning and putting away family photos lining the walls, your home is likely not going to make the top of the list.
What about their place? If you’re dating a single guy there is always the risk that their place is going to be a literal man cave… I don’t remember the last single guy crib I visited that had my juices flowing. Here’s a few replies we had to this question online which echo our experiences.
“We go to his place… it is a dump. Smelly, filthy with blankets as curtains. Dining table is full of crap. His bedroom was filled with clothes, bed has no sheets, stained carpet.”
You might want to also consider the privacy factor of sharing your personal address to your house or being secretly filmed in theirs. One couple recently shared their experience with us,
“Unless you want to be filmed without your consent I wouldn’t go to his place until you’ve known each other for a long time and there’s a trust. Also, never give out you phone number as we’ve had two friends who have had single guys get their home address with one of the men showing up unannounced at her work”
At a hotel
By far my favourite option right now and this was absolutely echoed by the twitter poll I recently conducted. There are so many pros to this option that I wanted to take a moment to sum them up, if they didn’t already seem obvious to you ?
You can create privacy here by meeting them in the lobby and going directly to the room, you don’t need to share the details with your check in name etc. Get to the hotel early and set yourself up a sensual space, create a sexy sensual environment using the 5 senses, take some lights, diffuses, alcohol, toys… everything you want to create your fun space.
Sex it up, we always recommend putting on some music, grab a glass of wine and set up your naughty playden! Whilst you are in the hotel, we absolutely recommend taking some photos, get your sexy lingerie and make the most out of the hotel cost. You can use these photos to spice up your dating profile, send to prospective couples or bulls or if you are an OnlyFans creator you can also perhaps even make some of the money back by creating content.
If you can have a night away from home we also recommend treating this like a little sexscape, stay the night, sleep in, get in those robes and go for a swim after a delicious breakfast.
There’s quick a few hotel lovers out there, here’s what they had to say
Where do you host?
We took to Twitter (thanks Twitter community!) to ask this question and as usual we had some fantastic replies; it seems that 64% of the almost 600 votes were pro HOTEL.
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