Health journey with SweetTea and Whiskey

When Cate mentioned that health and fitness in the lifestyle was a blog topic, I wanted to find the time to weigh in (pun intended ). It is 3am and I’m lying in bed reflecting on our own journey this past year. This is what you do when you’re an insomniac after all. 

We are SweetTeaNWhiskey. We are in our mid 30s and living in one of the most unhealthy states in America. Everything is fried and buttered.  We have been married for 15 years but together since high school. We’ve definitely overindulged a bit in our marriage and I have always been a bit of a yo-yo dieter. We discussed the idea of the lifestyle for a while , and after blitzing through podcasts like Swinger Diaries, SwingingDownUnder, We Gotta Thing, Spiritual Swingers and That Couple Next Door, we felt like we had enough information to move forward. We joined the lifestyle exactly one year ago with the intention of getting on a dating site and seeing what it was all about, but knowing we wanted to lose weight and get in shape . I had no confidence and frankly I was scared shitless. I had never in my life taken a sexy picture or even a selfie! We definitely had the mindset of “no one would play with us now anyway!” So the plan was to just be wall flowers and see what it was all about. 

“I have kids and was fully immersed in mom mode and my sweet husband has been with me so long that he had to think I was gorgeous , right? “

I, Mrs. ST, struggled with body confidence and self image. I have kids and was fully immersed in mom mode and my sweet husband has been with me so long that he had to think I was gorgeous , right?  He had also started feeling like he had gotten to a weight that was unhealthy so we both decided to change. Mainly, I was tired of feeling insecure and unhappy with my body. 

The same weekend we joined the dating site we started talking to a couple. They were sexy. And guess what – they weren’t perfect! This was eye opening for me. I find curves sexy ! They embraced their imperfections and I envied them.  We also joined the We Gotta Thing Membership Community and as people would post photos I would realize that I wasn’t automatically drawn to what society would deem perfect. These women were just real and beautiful. So perhaps I should give myself a little grace ?

We did however want to feel our best so Whiskey lost 60 Lbs (you know, he no longer ate that last bite of ice cream ) and I lost 25. In truth we both started making workouts a normal part of our day or week when we could, and eating much healthier. Doing this together was helpful. 

I took up running. I’ll never run marathons or run fast but I’m proud that I can run 5 miles a few times a week. I haven’t lost pounds on the scale in a while but I can see little changes and I know I’m stronger. This gives me more confidence. I do think that confidence in others is attractive and so I try to show confidence despite my insecurities. And yes, when other people compliment me I still have moments of self doubt but for the most part I have started believing the flattering remarks. These people haven’t been with me half my life. They don’t have to compliment me … I should accept the kind words and say thank you! 

I try not to compare my self to others, but I think that’s natural right?  “I wish my legs were long like hers, my stomach was flat like hers, boobs perkier”… you name it.  But what the swinging lifestyle , and our change in personal lifestyle has also shown me is to accept my imperfections. I will never have a tiny booty or long thin legs. No matter how many miles I run or squats I do I can’t grow from 5’1 to 5’6 magically. I’ll always be short. And that’s ok. I don’t feel like I have to be all things to all people anymore.  But I’m proud of where we have come from and the continuing journey of physical and mental improvement. 

I still have moments where confidence is shaken. I have bad weeks and I cheat on food or don’t work out enough. And sometimes I’m just fucking tired of dieting and the numbers on the scales are not moving. But 1 year ago I would not look at myself naked in a mirror. And today I post half naked pictures on Twitter. That’s growth. I wasn’t raised with someone who built me up and I didn’t realize the effect that can take on persons self esteem. The main change is I’m not always wondering who or what or how i will mess up or disappoint. I probably will in some form or other. I decided to show my true sides early. I don’t use filters and I post pictures without makeup so people have an idea of what we look like before they meet us. And then if we aren’t their cup of tea, that is ok. Whiskey is more fun anyway.  

“And today I post half naked pictures on Twitter. That’s growth.”

We go to Desire in November and even though we’ve been told that being naked will be fine in 5 minutes , I’m so nervous! So I hope to hit the gym and watch the carbs hard the next 6 weeks. I don’t even think I’ll be judged harshly. I just want to be the most confident version of myself that I can be and stop that inner voice from creeping in. The lifestyle is a great motivator but I’ve gotten to a point now that i just want to see what all my body is capable of – in a way that’s feasible with kids and a full time job and busy schedules. 

I would advise anyone on the outskirts listening to the podcasts to understand that when they talk about the “hot” people they play with , they aren’t all talking about Ken and Barbie perfect bodies. Hot is so situational ! And it doesn’t mean it conforms to this universal ideal image. Don’t set an impossible standard for yourself because you don’t think others would find you attractive. Just jump in , and see what connections can be made. Everyone has their own hang ups and they are looking at their own more than they are focused on yours.  And hey- cardio is good for your health so be healthy and then you’ll feel better about yourself in the process. We were lucky enough to join the WGT tribe and it made the entire lifestyle community seem more real to us. Find your tribe and you’ll realize everyone has something they are insecure about. It’s human nature. 

This has been a fantastic year and I’m proud of where we’ve come. We still have a ways to go but taking it day by day. 

My picture progression is terrible. But here’s sept 2018, April, August , and September 2019. Hard to see the small changes but they are there ! 

We can be contacted by our handle most places you’d find swingers! 

Good luck to you all on your fitness and health journey !

SweetTeaNWhiskey