Why I chose #FakeBoobs over #RealBoobs
Are you a swinger considering getting a boob job? People think a lot of swingers have breast implants and I’m here to help stop the taboo topic.
As always let’s start with why I’ve written such an asshole-ish title. Over the past 12 months on twitter I have noticed that many profiles (including some of my podcast brethren) like to refer to enhanced breasts as #Fake and their own breasts as #Real; this gets my goat!
Why? Because for all anyone knows there’s a reason a women has had surgery and that might be to correct some health issues.
Here’s my thoughts, they’re boobs! Good on you for having them, feeling them and keeping them!
Check out the accompanying podcast to this blog where we get some amazing listener audio from women with breast augmentation and some without
I thought I’d share my story on how and when I decided to get a breast augmentation 5 years ago as this might help you all on your own journey.
My Journey and what lead me to surgery
I’d always been a little bit of a chubby kid, I was a tom boy and wore a lot of Metallica and Heavy Metal band shirts when I was little. Therefore, because I was fat I also had larger breasts than most other girls my age. This kind of stayed over the years, I’d get thin and they’d go away, I’d get fat and they’d be back. After many years of yo-yoing in this way my breasts began to sag and lose their shape. Then I gained 13kg during a 3 month holiday and when I returned home to Australia, I’d gone on a diet lost the weight again. I had the skin and enough space for boobs however I’d lost the fat cells when I’d lost weight.
I remember the day that I made the decision, I was on the Gold Coast with my girlfriends (1 with breast augmentation and 1 without) we were in our bikini’s and we had a photo taken. I had been thinking about getting a breast augmentation for around 7 years, always considering the pro’s and con’s and I wanted to be 100% sure I was doing it for myself and the right reasons (not because of societal pressure). I remember feeling so unfeminine, nothing to hold my swimsuit up or match my broad shoulders and taller frame. I remember the photo even to this day, 6 months later I was in recovery at home having had my augmentation successfully completed.
Now comes the actual hard work, after you’ve made the decision to get them there are so many more decisions that need to be made and for this reason I’m going to say, do not be stingy on the surgeon who you choose. You’ll need to go back time and time again, understand what the options are, read their reviews, understand their recommendations and healing process etc. It’s well worth the investment (for the record mine were $10k AUD for the augmentation and $2k for post-surgery hyperbaric).
Here are some of the decisions that need to be made;
- Saline versus Silicone
- Size in CC (yes they’ll make you wear a bra around their office with the examples in)
- Under breast tissue versus Chest Muscles
- Surgical incision location; inframammary, axillary, periareolar
- Shape; tear or round
- Surface; smooth, textured, rippled
- Augmentation alone or lift at the same time
- Replacement after 8-10 years
For the record I have 420cc Textured Round Implants, they are under muscles and therefore can ‘stick’ better plus as I weight-lift this was the best recommendation from the Doctor.
So after I selected the Doctor and the decisions were made on the implants I set a date. February 2012 I was going to have day surgery and start the recovery process. There’s not much to say here on the actual surgery as I was under anesthetic however there is a funny story about D getting angry at my surgeon just before I went under the knife. The surgeon went to hand D the invoice and said ‘I guess you’ll be covering this’ and D was just flabbergasted, he was so mad that this male surgeon assumed that D was not just recommending the surgery but was paying for it. His response was a simple ‘She has her own money, she’s a successful professional and this is her decision, she will pay herself’.
On the recovery period
They give you a hideous bra that you have to wear around, you wake up really confused and still drugged up. The drive home feels like you’re floating on a cloud and then you go to the lazy boy and that’s where you will stay for at least 4-5 days aside from the daily visits to the hyperbaric chamber.
There are three main things I want to share about the recovery:-
- You’ll be surprised by how much you use your ab muscles to get in and out of bed, anticipate that you’ll need help to sit up for the first 2 days.
- Don’t push yourself, when your Doctor says “don’t reach up and get that bowl down off the top shelf”… don’t fucking do it ok
- I strongly suggest considering hyperbaric treatment for recovery including minimizing scar tissue. This is fairly new for cosmetic surgery however has been used for years in sports medicine and on the top athletes in the world so why not me. I recommended this to my Doctor who agreed we could proceed although he’d never used it before. I found a private hospital with a hyperbaric and went along for 1 hour each day for 5 days, on the 3rd day at the clinic for a checkup my Doctor was amazed at the results. No scar tissue.
Post-surgery thoughts, for the most part I love my breasts, they make me feel more feminine when I’m wearing a dress or bikini and I can finally hold up a strapless. However, I still have fat pockets of course and right now they aren’t my favorite shape. My breasts are much bigger than normal as I’m currently much bigger than my normal size (I’m 7kg heavier than normal / 15lb and 6.9 oz) which has made me dislike them especially because I don’t fit my sexy lingerie right now. I have never regretted my decision to have the surgery completed and I do for the most part feel much more proportioned now than I did previously.
I didn’t gain or lose any sensation in the nipple area and have had no complications with them, although you will need a super doper heavy duty sports bra if you intend on doing any running.
If you’re thinking about having the surgery or want to chat about your own experience I’d love to hear from you, you can catch me on firstname.lastname@example.org and please feel free to reach out.
Yours in currently ridiculously oversized boobs,
A note from D
When I first met C she was a large girl after a holiday that concluded with a doctor informing her that she had a genetic disorder that will make it exceptionally difficult to lose and maintain a healthy weight. With her strength and stubbornness she managed to lose the weight AND lose her boobs…
To establish an understanding here, I am a butt man! C has always had a great butt and that has not changed. I know that she had good breasts, but they were not a huge thing for me. That said I loved the breast she had, and what she won’t tell you is, I did ALL the research on her augmentation – because I didn’t want the surgeon to fuck up the good thing I had!!
I found a great surgeon who was a bit of a sexist cunt, but hey, nobody’s perfect! C was not paying him to talk!!
To sum up, prior to surgery I loved C’s shape, but I didn’t like what she felt about herself. She had the ability to change something that made her feel bad and she did that, just like seeking any other medical solution.
Post-surgery was interesting as C is incapable of sitting still, so I was the most annoying husband ever! ‘Stay still, I will get it’ became my mantra!
In between her Hyperbaric Oxygen therapy sessions we managed to keep her relaxed and relatively pain free, and I am glad we did.
The results are spectacular and I am not referring to the breasts. C is happier, feels better about herself and is glad to get into a bathing suit, this used to be a problem for her.
Even her posture changed, shoulders went back, and head went up, such a big change in self-perception.
In the end, I wish C had done it sooner. It’s great to see her happier with herself, and proud to be feminine. It was tough to see an amazing woman limited by her self-belief/perception. Now she sees herself the way the rest of the world always did, smart, fun, stunning and sexy.